If you are, hello again, I’m sorry for leaving you hanging, and why the hell are you still here?Anyway. Considering most of you that read this blog (meaning my mom and my coworkers – gotta represent for all four of my readers) know what has gone on in my life athletically over the past month, let me apologize for the recap. But, here goes.
In August I had a nasty case of bronchitis that knocked me out of the triathlon. While I was busy moaning about all of the things I couldn't do with bronchitis and cursing the doctors (two separate ones) that forbade me from competing, my bronchitis worsened until I had full-blown pneumonia. Know what you can’t do with pneumonia? Walk, let alone complete a triathlon or run a marathon.
So in the greatest O. Henry sense of irony, I spent all spring and summer training for two events that I couldn’t compete in. Why couldn’t I compete in these events? Because I overtrained and didn’t take care of myself. It’s like a sick ying and yang of crapiness. When I was able to get back into working out in late October/early November, I had backslid. Big time. I got back into running very slowly, and started weight training again with a trainer, but things were and are rough.
However, during my two and a half months was a whole host of people, places and things that helped me, the wannabe athlete, get back on my feet. And now, I’d like to just say thanks. Cue the sappy montage folks, here we go.
- To the maker of the cool nebulizer that the urgent care gave me during my first visit to try to clear out my lungs. 10 minutes of puffing later and hysterically giggling later and I realized I had a serious, SERIOUS jonesing for White Castle. Coincidence? I think not.
- To the masseuse who I went to after my first day back in the gym. She insisted that massage would help sooth my ribcage and back muscles after months of coughing and inactivity. She also insisted on massaging…erm….the front of my ribcage if you get my drift.
- To the creepy acupuncturist I saw who told me that my bronchitis was related to weight gain, and I needed Eastern medicine to get “the sludge out of my nervous system.” I have a sludgy nervous system? Come again?
- To the makers of the two types of steroids my doctors put me on. My coworkers and friends thank you for introducing them to a female version of the incredible hulk that yelled at the drop of a hat and ate everything that wasn’t nailed down or was moving slowly.
- To all the friends who listened to me cry and told me I'd be able to do it again next year. Specifically to those who volunteered to do the events with me next year. I’ve written your names down.
- To the nasty man who worked the chip return desk at the marathon expo. When I went to turn in my chip, he asked me if I “was dropping out because I hadn’t trained and was scared.” When I responded that I had pneumonia, he turned to my friend, who was pulling out as well because of a fractured foot, and said “what about you? Do you have ‘pneumonia’ too?” He even used air quotes. You sir, are an asshat. Thank you for giving us another reason to do this next year.
- And finally, to all the people who told me to get back to blogging. In the words of one well-meaning reader, “for the love of God, woman, you can’t end your blogging career on that pathetic, depressing last post you left us with.”
