An Introduction

I am a wannabe athlete. I see people running along the Chicago lakefront with their coordinating Nike outfits and a pang of jealousy seizes me as I readjust my faded “No Rum No Fun: Spring Break 2001” t-shirt and ill-fitting sweatpants, and mosey on my way at a pace that can only be described as somewhere between geriatric and tortoise.

Before continuing let me just clue you in on a few important facts that will help explain this blog and my entries in it:

1. I played soccer for five years, and in that time, never scored one goal. Now this might be because after one season, my coach realized my lack of speed and running abilities, and moved me to defense for the remainder of my career, but it remains one of those life goals I’m bummed that I’ll never achieve.
2. I ran cross country in junior high. My first year, I came in last in every single race.
3. I once choked on a packet of energy gel during a race and almost needed the Heimlich.
4. In high school, I came in last in a charity walkathon.
5. I think Diet Coke is a perfectly acceptable breakfast accompaniment.
6. Last year I tore a ligament in my foot and ended up wearing an orthopedic boot for 6 weeks. How did I do this? Easy. My foot fell asleep, I jumped up from the couch to answer the phone, tripped and rolled my ankle. Duh.
7. Last week during a session with my personal trainer, I hit myself in the face with a weight and moments later tripped over the bottom of my yoga pants. My trainer assured me it was the first time in his entire career that he had seen a person do this.
8. I hate Gatorade.
9. I sunburn easily. Like 10 minutes outside easily.
10. Last year I ran the half marathon. I didn’t train as well as I should have, and was nearly crippled by the experience. Well, nearly crippled by the experience and the amount of aspirin I consumed trying to ease the pain.
11. Last year, while training for said half marathon, I went for a run along the lake and somehow threw my pedometer that was on my wrist into the water. As I watched it sink to its watery grave, a lifeguard came up behind me and asked me incredulously, “how the hell did that happen?”
12. I love my DVR like a person.

So, now that that’s out of the way, the purpose this of this blog is to document my experiences training and getting in shape for two huge events: the Chicago Sprint Triathlon in August and the Chicago Marathon in October. This time, I’m doing it right – I’ve started training, transforming eating habits and all that jazz. I have a plan and the time to execute it.

All the while thinking – I must be out of my God damn mind.